Feel Better




Do write about it
"Writing or journaling allows you to slow down and think through how you want to respond so you’re responding rather than reacting," says Kueny.

What’s the difference? "Reacting is based on emotions. It's almost automatic. Our emotions feel very real but they’re not always rationale," she says. "When we respond we’re choosing how to respond. We’re cognitively thinking through what we want to have happen and what is the best way to make that happen."

Don’t stomp or storm
Instead of storming into a room and screaming that your partner isn’t paying enough attention to you, write about it or employ some other anger-dissipating trick. After you're feeling calmer, walk into the room and say you’ve missed him or her and suggest an activity you can do together.

"A rationale response is more likely to get the desired outcome," says Kueny.
Do practice compassion
Doing something compassionate for someone else is incompatible with anger and aggression.

"It’s hard to feel angry and compassionate at the same time," Bushman says. So it's OK to do something nice for someone who’s making you mad. Research indicates that compassion may also dissipate the other person’s anger.

A recent study found that responding supportively to a colleague’s anger by talking to him or her rather than writing them up or putting them on probation was more likely to resolve a tense situation.

Do talk, but not right away
Gauge how intense your anger is on a scale of 1-to-10 before making a decision to open your mouth about it. If you talk when you’re still red hot, you’re more likely to get into an argument.

"You really should not communicate when you are very angry," says Kueny. "You should wait to cool off."

When you think your anger is manageable and you can effectively express it without being destructive and causing other problems, this is the time to open up the discussion, she says.

Source: http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20581256_9,00.html

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Diary of a whatever I am

Hello, again!

Finding strength within you