Grateful

People keep telling me to be grateful, and “other people have it worse than you” and bla bla bla

All these are true words that did NOT help me when I was down. I don’t know why it didn't help me then. Maybe I wasn’t open to receiving? Maybe I just needed whatever growth spurt I had after my dad died? I never have good advice on how to grow up, see clearly, open your mind. All I can ever do is just write my experiences and hope that maybe it’ll help someone? I guess that’s what everyone else had been trying to do for me my entire life, and I could never take their help. I’m not sure if I can now, but what I can do is share what I’ve learned.

What I’ve learned is that ever since I made the conscious decision to actively be more grateful, I’ve been building on a more positive view of the world and of my life and of myself. I guess part of it had always been that I didn’t know HOW to be grateful. And that it felt like a chore. What am I supposed to do? Just list all the ways I’m blessed? How’s that going to help me? Yet it does, but not when it feels tedious. You have to start small.

It started just as listing things that I am blessed with: my health, my sight, my movement. Honestly, to live without any of those would be so much harder. When I get depressed, I don’t focus on any of that and I forget that I’m lucky just to have a roof over my head. Repeating my list isn’t going to help anyone though. Its just for myself and it helps only me. Actually, the list idea didn’t work out. I got bored with it. I was just mindlessly writing things. The key is you need to be MINDFUL. I didn’t know how to do that either. I’m not sure I still do, but where I am now is far better than where I was yesterday.

I made being grateful “fun” for me. This involved putting cute pictures of whatever it was I was happy about. I am mindful by taking the time to reflect after having something happy happen. Even if its something like I ate ice cream and the sugar rush made me feel amazing. I found that taking this time to reflect was hugely beneficial.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not some grateful spouting machine. I don’t robotically jot down every single happy moment of my life- no way. That would get 1. overwhelming and 2. just annoying. If you’re more of a stricter routine person then make a schedule. For the next 3 days, spend 3 minutes every day mentally thinking of at least 3 things you are grateful for in that day (morning, before you get out of bed, or night before you fall asleep, or whenever you want). I am arbitrarily choosing the number 3 here. I like starting really small so I feel like I accomplished something, and then I bring it up: 5 minutes a day, 7 minutes, or just several 1 minute times through out the day. Its about having a flow and just going with it. Do what feels right for you. But start somewhere. Its okay to miss some happy days, but try to write them down when you remember to. And try to focus on everything no matter how small they may seem. Nothing’s ever too small or too silly.

Here are some examples:

• ·        How the sun feels on my skin
• ·        how i didn’t make the bed and don’t feel bad about it
• ·        How I love the color of my walls
• ·        How blessed I am for having the good sleep in my nice warm bed with my cuddly blankets
• ·        Even how awesome a delicious fruit can taste in your mouth!

Yes, I’m very weird =D. And its awesome.

Its funny how I actually learned to do this because of my religion. In Islam you’re required to pray 5 times a day, during which you should be thankful to God for your blessings. There’s no way I’m dedicated and committed enough to pray that often, but I took the important messages and attuned them to my own needs. The important message is that prayer isn’t always about asking for something, sometimes its just about saying thank you for what you already have (sometimes for things you didn’t even ask for).

Note: I’m not being all religious-y or anything, I’m just pulling something from my own faith to apply generally. You don't have to be religious to be grateful.